Shakespeare Shenanigans: ZaDR
by Free Cake
Summary: In 10th grade, Ms. Bitters' class must produce a play of "Romeo and Juliet." Much to their dismay, Dib is our romantic Romeo and Zim is the beautiful Juliet, and just like the play, two enemies fall in love. ZaDR; YAOI. Adopted from ZADR not Hater.
1. Chapters 1 and 2

**Okay, so, recently, ZADR not hater had given up a story called "Shakespeare Shenanigans." She (or he for all I know) was going to delete it. D: I almost died!**

**Well, I asked if I could adopt that story, and I did! :D So now… here is chapter 1 and 2, just incase you didn't read the original whenever it was out…**

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Chapter 1:

Zim and Dib crashed through the door of Ms. Bitters' 10th grade English room. Rolling, big head over green heels, they landed on the grimy, off-white floor at the front of the room. Zim landed on top of Dib, then jumped up and sprinted to his seat. leaping atop it, the poorly disguised alien pointed a finger at the Dib-creature and gloated:

"HAHAHAHAHAAA! I! ZIMMMMMM! Have beaten you to your desk an incredible display of Irken stre- I MEAN HUMAN NORMALNESS! Yes…human normalness…"

"I was just trying to get in the door you jerk!" snapped his pathetic archenemy. When would that puny human realize Zim was far superior to he? He was taller than the Dib stink for Irk sake! Zim's better-ness was completely obvious! It was a wonder what living 4 years in a gravity field 1/3 of what your home planet had could do for your height. The silly human's 'pyooburtee' growth spurt had nothing on him! Although the Dib-freak had managed to grow into his oversized head...he wasn't nearly as hideous as he was before...

Zim shook his head. He didn't care what the stupid human looked like! "BOW BEFORE THE NORMALNESS OF ZIM!" he shrieked.

No one bowed down, especially not the Dib-smelly…who told Zim exactly where he can stick his oh so mighty normalcy. Zim was about to yell something foul at the infuriating black haired human, when stirred in the shadows, her silvery spectacles flashing in annoyance.

"I've had enough of your pointless interruptions Dib, ZIM…" rasped the terrifying earthen crone, cutting off whatever eloquent stream of Irken insults Zim was about to scream. He slouched in his seat, glaring daggers at Ms. Bitters even through his false blue contacts. Zim vowed, that next to Dib-thing, the she-hag would be among the first to be annihilated when he took over this ignorant planet. "As you all know, in 10th grade, you are all required to read Romeo and Juliet and perform the play in front of the whole skool. A mix of groans and 'hooray's' erupted from the class.

Zim arched an eyebrow… a play, eh? The theatrical activity where humans played make-believe in ridiculous costumes, saying the same things over and over on a stage? Zim was not pleased to have to participate in this, filthy human custom.

"However," continued the head meat-sack, "I hate all things to do with love and young people." She gave a small shudder, shaking a cockroach loose from her grey hair. "So to alleviate my misery, I refuse to have you read the play in my classroom, and am handing over the production of our play to our useless drama teacher, Mr. Yaoi (oh yeah…you'll see why he's named that soon enough, my pretties ;3). I'm having him randomly pick roles out of a jar. If you complain about your role I will send you down to the underground classroom and make you sit under the dripping pipes while i use your blood to write thank you notes to my anger management therapist. "

Zim cringed at the mention of dripping pipes... he would not complain to the earth hag. The earth-monkey, Dib, saw his reaction and gave him a smirk. Zim blinked, then blinked again because he blinked. Since when did the ugly little primate's face surprise the amazing ZIM?

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Chapter 2:

Zim started to turn a darker shade of green… What had the human done to him? Some sort of mind control perhaps? How dare he try to alter the amazing mind of ZIM? He pointed his claw at the human and prepared to bombard the insolent monkey-filth with insults and accusations of illegal mind-alteration, when suddenly a male teacher-slime dressed in purple burst through the door, rudely interrupting the incredible ZIM before he could continue.

"Good mooooooorning boys and girls!" he sang in an off key soprano that made Zim's antennae twitch in irritation under his black wig. "I'm your fabulous drama teacher, Mr. Yaoi. The delightful Ms. Bitters -" a demonic growl echoed from the shadows, "has put me in charge of producing the single most dramatic, romantic, and passionate love stories ever written." He gave a squeal and fanned himself his unusually well manicured hands. Zim merely stared at him in a mix of annoyance, utter and complete confusion, and disgust. They were being forced to perform a love story? Zim would prefer to have his squeedlyspooch biopsied. Stoopid humans and their looooooove.

"Now, boys and girls I'm going to read off a name from the characters, then pick a name out of this jar to play the character. Our first character to be chosen is the incredibly romantic, amazing…sexy…" The annoying purple monkey started to drool, looking off into space. Zim had seen Gir do the same thing after watching a commercial about the Taquito-Land theme park. The bizarre human seemed to snap out of his trance and wiped the drool off of his ugly purple vest. "Ahem, excuse me! Our first character to be chosen is Romeo, who will be played by…" the human stuck his hand-appendage in the jar and pulled out a slip of ugly human paper.

"Dib Membrane!" Zim looked over at the mentioned human-scum with a raised eyebrow. That walking skin irritation was going to be in a play about love? Zim started to snicker…even the mighty ZIM felt sorry for the sad little earth monkey that had to play Dib-creature's partner. Zim started laughing even harder. Soon he was gasping for air, and he could hear the trench coat clad human growling in anger. Stoopid human!

The purple annoyance blinked in confusion, then continued with the character selection of doom.

"Romeo's lovely lover, Juliet, will be played by…" he rummaged around in the jar.

"ZIM"

"WHAT?" Screamed Zim and the Dib-slime at the same time. Zim was trembling with indignity and fury, as well as Dib-creature, who had turned a vivid shade of crimson. Zim's obviously superior face had turned the same green color as an earthen avocado.

Standing, Zim unleashed his incredible wrath at the soon to be terminated purple human. "ZIM REFUSES TO PLAY THE…'LOVER' OF THE DISGUISTING DIB-FILTH! ZIM SHALL DESTROY YOU BEFORE THAT HAPPENS! PREPARE TO DIE, HUMAN! I AM NORMAL!" Zim snarled and considered the best way to eradicate the human down to his very last atom.

The raging Dib-thing took his turn bellowing at the evil demon known as . "ARE YOU *FUDGING* INSANE? WE'RE BOTH GUYS! HE CAN-"

The soon to be terminated human, who had been turning pink and nursing a sudden nosebleed, suddenly straightened and marched up to the human poking him in the chest, his eyes flashing. It reminded Zim of when Gir suddenly switched to "duty mode".

"And what, young man, is wrong with two men being in love? HUH?"

The Dib-creature was about to say something back, and Zim had just decided that he was going to send the purple earth monkey to the room with a moose, when the classroom suddenly developed a clammy chill. A chill so clammy it could only mean one thing.

Ms. Bitters...*DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNN*

Zim hid under his skool desk as the demon queen slithered out of the shadows, wilting a potted earth-plant by the window. "Do I have two volunteers to help me write thank you notes downstairs?" the human nightmare looked like she was hoping for a yes.

Zim shuddered…dripping pipes… He shot a look at the Dib-human, who was looking back at him with a face of mild panic. Zim pondered his options. Zim could face days of torture at the hands of the most terrifying and evil creature in the galaxy, or he could play the 'lover' of Dib in a human play...Zim's squeedlyspooch flipped.

...

It was so hard to choose! But the mission…If he was held captive in the horrible crone's torture chamber, he couldn't go and conquer Earth! And the Tallest would be displeased! Zim knew what he had to do. Every Irken Invader faced a time where they had to suffer for the cause of the mission… now must be the amazing Zim's time.

"Uh, NO! Ha ha ha… the Dib-stink and the incredible ZIM were just telling the, uh...person... how pleased we were to play this Romeeyo and Jooly-et. Isn't that right?" Zim shot a look at his archnemisis. Oh the indignity!

"…" the human said nothing, obviously still fuming.

"Torture!" Mouthed Zim. So help him if the Dib-squishy doomed him to the water torture of doom… Zim would show no mercy!

"Yeah…what the alien said!" Dib-thing quickly muttered. Zim forced himself to smile and nod.

"Yes, so as you can see Ms. Bitters, there is no need for you to drag us with your slimy little claws down to the torture area of torture! The mighty ZIM and the Dib-worm are in total compliance with your…play…thingy…thing. So go away now."

The she-hag raised an eyebrow and grunted, then backed away into the shadows.

"Yay!" Squealed the horrible little purple filth…thing. "Let's move on, shall we?"

Zim shuddered… his squeedlyspooch was feeling uneasy. He glared at the Dib-monster, who insolently glared right back as more names were called. For some reason, Zim's glorious squeedlyspooch felt even stranger, and he turned a dark green again as he looked at the human's face.

Mind control... it had to be!

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**So, I DON'T OWN THESE CHAPTERS! They are ZADR not hater's... I own the next chapter though… BECAUSE I WROTE IT! xD**

**So, I'll post the next chapter very soon. Today, in fact.**


	2. Chapter 3

**FOUND THE NOTEBOOK! PRAISE ME!**

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Zim hated this. No, he despised it. Doing a pathetic hyuu-man 'love' scene with the Dib-worm was torture enough, and this filthy purple excuse for a teacher was the perfect annoyance. Zim looked at the Dib-stink. The Dib-stink glared at his 'Juliet'. Zim's face was dark green. More of the hyuu-man's ridiculous mind control!

During Zim's thinking of this horrid play, Mr. Yaoi had called off all the other roles. While humming a familiar tune way off-key, he gathered several books and passed them out. Mr. Yaoi lay one of the books on Zim's desk. Zim saw the cover read "Romeo and Juliet" in fancy writing. Oh, how he wanted to destroy this book. He saw at the bottom read a name, William Shakespeare. Zim would definately get his revenge on this "Shakespeare" hyuu-man later.

Mr. Yaoi was putting fresh gauze around his nose. Zim was already noticing that this pathetic purple monkey got his nose bloody a lot. What from?

"Alright class!" the hyuu-man said in this annoying sound. "We should probably start working on the first scene with the Capulet and Montague servants! You should remember the roles you were given, so if I gave you the role of a Capulet or a Montague servant, Tybalt, or Benvolio, do be prepared to read!"

The students opened their books. Turning the pages past the copyright information and the table of contents, most of the students were on page one. Zim, however, was not. He was skimming through the numerous pages.

Zim had stopped skim reading and was actually reading when he came across a scene named, "The Capulet's party". This was when the filthy Romeo and Juliet hyuu-mans met. When he reached the end of the scene, something disturbed him. This Romeo was supposed to show affection and love to Juliet by kissing her. Twice. Zim was about ready to scream.

Zim didn't scream, though. He continued to read. He came to another scene named "Capulet's orchard". He felt his squeedily-spooch flip. Juliet admitted love to the this Romeo. Zim was going to have to admit he "loved"... the Dib-pig?

About ready to jump out of his green skin, he flipped through pages trying to find a scene that was about him and Dib "being in love". He stopped on a scene. Hopefully, this scene would be better, right? Unfortunately for Zim, it was worse. This scene was titled, "Juliet's bedroom", where the hyuu-man Romeo lay with the Juliet... in bed... in each other's arms... naked.

Zim felt like someone just disconnected his PAK. Of course, no one did, but reading that one scene made him feel like that. He screamed. Not able to take the torture of all the things he would have to do with the Earth-smell Dib, he screamed at the top of his lungs.

The teen that was reading stopped. All eyes were on Zim. Zim was always shouting, yes, but whenever there is a screaming sound, the hyuu-mans felt the need to stop and look (and on the occasional case, humiliate).

"What's wrong, Zim?" Mr. Yaoi asked, his voice as ever annoying to Zim.

Zim opened his mouth to protest this hideous play, but something caught his attention: the witch standing in the corner. He only answered, "Nothing is wrong! I'm normal!"

Mrs. Bitters narrowed her eyes. Zim could not, absolutely could not, go with her. The mission depended on it!

As the young student continued to read, Zim began plotting ways to destroy four things: the book, Shakespeare, this purple filth Mr. Yaoi, and the Dib-pig.

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**IAMSOSORRYIDIDN'TUPDATETHISSTORYONTHATDAY!**

**My mom NEVER lets me on the desktop in the office. Now that I have my own laptop, updates shall be faster. :D**

**Okay, so... found the notebook I wrote this story in. I lost it. Whenever I was typing it up that day, my mom kicked me off the computer. The next day, Mr. Notebook went missing. .n. I found it, though. And I shall now be typing up stories instead of writing them in a notebook. Now, just hope I don't ever lose my flash drive. xD**

**Okay, bye~**

–**Tsuki-chan**


	3. Chapter 4

Zim sat in front of one of the large computer screen. There were four things he wanted to destroy, and those were: the book, Shakespeare, Mr. Yaoi, and the Dib-filth.

Well, he knew enough about the Dib-filth. The book he could destroy in an instant. "Computer!" He shouted at the technology. "Search for a 'Shakespeare' hyuu-man."

The computer began searching. "Shakespeare," it started. "Birth date unknown. Death date: 23 April, 1616. Aged: 52. Occu—"

The computer was cut off by Zim shouting, "So the cursed hyuu-man is already dead!" Zim thought a moment. "Search up 'Mr. Yaoi'."

The computer took a minute to search everything. "No results found for 'Mr. Yaoi'."

Zim only cursed in response, "Damnit."

"There are results for 'Yaoi'."

"Show them."

Zim nearly about fell out of his chair. Yaoi… was practically gay men. He thought a moment. After a few minutes, he came to a conclusion.

"I see now!" Zim shouted his conclusion, "Mr. Yaoi actually planned for me and the filthy Dib-stink to be the lovers! His name being Mr. Yaoi, he must like yaoi himself! And he's… probably gay…"

Zim wanted to bash his head into the wall.

* * *

The next day of school, Ms. Bitters decided to let Mr. Yaoi devote the entire day to the play. Zim, of course, hated this. Today, he would actually have to read. Today, they were going to be reading the scene "Capulet's party", and this scene would require Zim to "confess his love" for Dib. He obviously did not, absolutely did not love Dib. Dib was just a stupid hyuu-man in Zim's way.

"Alright, kids," the purple filth exclaimed with joy. "Today, we'll start getting more into the play."

"What if we don't have any lines to read?" a kid in the back shouted.

"Then shut up and listen!" Mr. Yaoi said with happiness, although it was said with intended harshness. "Or, you can help with costumes~"

Some kids looked around and at each other. They didn't know what to do, but it seemed that Mr. Yaoi favored the idea of 'shutting up and listening'.

"Alright, let's begin reading," Mr. Yaoi said in that filthy happy tone.

"SCENE V. A HALL IN CAPULET'S HOUSE," a kid very loudly shouted for some apparent reason. Zim then remembered that there was an annoying narrator. "MUSICIANS WAITING. ENTER SERVINGMEN WITH NAPKINS."

The Letter "M" than read off in a boring sounding tone, "Where's Potpan, that he helps not—"  
He was cut off by Mr. Yaoi throwing chalk at him. "NO! ACTUALLY PUT FEELING INTO IT!" he demanded.

The Letter "M", completely flabbergasted by the throwing of chalk, then began to recite with feeling, "Where's Potpan, that he helps not to take away? He shift a trencher? He scrape a trencher!"

Another kid then began to recite there lines (him putting feeling to it as well, due to the fear of Mr. Yaoi's flying chalk). "When good manners shall lie all in one or two men's hands and they unwashed too, 'tis a foul thing."

They continued their lines. Zim would have completely dozed off if the very loud kid in the back who just HAD to be the Narrator shouted, "ROMEO TO A SERVINGMAN."

Zim shook with anger for a moment. Oh, how he hated that wretched kid!

"What lady is that, which doth," Dib (who was, of course, Romeo) recited. "…enrich the hand of yonder knight?"

As the other kid was reading lines, Zim looked at Dib amazed. Not only has he not let this Mr. Yaoi and his plan of two guys playing this get to him, but he recited his lines quite well, almost as if he enjoyed it.

"I know not, sir," the Letter "M" said, responding as the servant.

Dib then responded:

O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!  
It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night  
Like a rich jewel in an Ethiope's ear;  
Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear!  
So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows,  
As yonder lady o'er her fellows shows.  
The measure done, I'll watch her place of stand,  
And, touching hers, make blessed my rude hand.  
Did my heart love till now? forswear it, sight!  
For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.

Now Zim was impressed somehow. Dib was actually doing well. Zim then thought a moment. He looked ahead in the book. He then noticed… that damned love scene was coming up. As more human filth kids recited lines (and Mr. Yaoi through chalk at those who didn't add FEELING), Zim wanted to just run out the door. Lines were running out, and Zim was going to approach this scene. Sure, they weren't acting it out yet, but Zim still didn't want to think of even saying these things to Dib!

It was Zim's turn to speak. He opened his mouth to speak, and his luck hit him. The bell rang for lunch.

Zim sighed in relief as the dirty monsters ran out the door. This gave Zim another thirty minutes of not reading!  
However, as lunch went by, he found the minutes to be agonizing. He thought of having to read. He thought of how the Dib-pig would respond. Since the Dib-pig was good (and Zim already knew he was good, so that worked out), it could sound as if they were in love… this made Zim face-palm.

The bell rang. It was time to get back to class. Zim opened the book that was still on his desk. He hesitated at first, but then he opened his mouth and began to read.

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**… cliffhanger-ish. 8D –shot-**

**Okay, so updates are coming slow, yes. TT^TT I'm really sorry. School is tough (especially Honors classes) and I video-edit, so that takes up time… I'll keep trying though, so bear with. Next update won't take this long at all. TTuTT Your reviews mean a lot, and I hate that this took so long. So, sorry to the 17 reviews, to the 18 that favorited it, and the 16 that alerted it. Hope you enjoyed~**

**-Tsuki-chan**


	4. Chapter 5

**You… you all are so sweet. TT^TT You continue to read this story, even with my slow-ass updates? I love you. ;u;**

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"Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much," Zim began reading. Honestly, these lines made him want to puke. He'd rather claw his face off than read these lines of the disgusting hyuu-man love play. "Which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is the holy palmer's ki—"

Zim was interrupted by the throwing of chalk at him. It was Mr. Yaoi. "More emotion!" he demanded, his gauze falling from his nose and blood gushing from it. 'This damn hyuu-man and his 'emotion'…' Zim thought.

"Have not saints' lips and holy palmers too?" Dib read next. To others, it could have looked like he didn't care whatsoever. His voice, however, suggested otherwise.

"Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer," Zim read, trying this idea of putting more emotion into his voice.

"O, then dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair," the Dib-filth read next. His 'not caring' look was now gone.

"Saints do not move, though grant for prayer's sake."  
"Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take. Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged."

Zim took the idea that this is where the hyuu-man characters of Romeo and Juliet kissed. He cringed somewhat before starting off reading, "Then have my lips the sin that they have took."

"Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again," Dib read. Zim wondered just how this hyuu-man filth was putting up with this.

"You kiss by the book," Zim read next. He was unaware that his face became a darker green.

As Zita began reading her line, Zim saw the anserine hyuu-man Dib looking at him… yet again! Was this more of the cursed mind control?

"… lay hold of her, shall have the chinks," Zim heard Zita reading. He decided to follow along with the terrible book.

"Is she a Capulet?" Dib read. "O dear account! My life is my foe's debt!"

Before the next hyuu-man could read, everyone seemed to be staring at Mr. Yaoi, his eyes wide and sparkly and a puddle of blood around him. This guy needed some sort of nose surgery to fix his blood problem or something…

"That… was… beautiful!" the purple trash exclaimed. "I wish we could keep reading, but we must work on the scenery that was planned for today…" His voice became insipid as he finished that sentence, sounding disappointed.

Zim was actually relieved to hear that they would stop reading. Of course, he felt a mixture of emotions. One was obviously hatred and anger. He despised this play, this teacher, the Dib, this entire thing! Another was some… weird feeling. It just made Zim feel weird. He didn't like it at all.

After a few minutes, the kids were now working on some of the scenery. Some of the hyuu-mans were so happy (which Zim made a note of to destroy them after Dib when he conquered Earth), and other kids groaned and complained.

Zim was sitting alone at first. He acted to be creating something, but he wasn't working on anything. He was just messing with some papers. Unfortunately for the Irken, his 'alone-ness' was ruined when the Dib-filth was now beside him.

"What are you doing?" Zim demanded to know.

"That purple thing of a teacher forced me here," Dib answered.

"Well go away!" Zim snapped. "I don't wish to be accompanied, especially by you!"

"You don't really have much of an option," the Dib-filth said next. "I just said I was forced here!"

Zim normally rebounded with some statement to get him away, but this time, he just continued to mess with the paper. He thought something was wrong with him.

"Listen, I know you hate this, and I hate it too," Dib started. "We have to get through this. The more you talk about hating it, the slower it goes by."

Zim was acting if he was not paying attention the Dib-filth's mindless drabble. He actually was, but there was no way he could actually be right… right?

Dib looked at the alien. "Is there something wrong with your face?" he asked. He was referring to the dark green around Zim's cheeks.

"Huh? Are you suggesting there is something wrong with my superior face?" Zim snapped.

"No," Dib simply said. He then decided to respond, "But it was never superior."

"My face is amazing!" Zim nearly yelled at the hyuu-man.

"Yeah, especially with the avocado-colored cheeks," the Dib-pig joked.

Zim stared at him for a moment. Avocado-colored cheeks? What was he talking about?

"Anything wrong with my face s your pathetic fault, Dib-smell!" Zim spat.

Dib stared at the Irken with a mixture of a confused, near horrified, and some other hyuu-man emotion look. Then, the two were silent.

The silence only amounted to the already agonizingly slow time, making it seem even slower. It made a minute seem like an hour. To make it worse, class was an hour away from being over. It was like 60 hours. Dib would occasionally look at Zim, and Zim would do the same for Dib. Twice they made eye contact, and oddly enough, they didn't attack each other.

At the end of that hour, the bell rang, and Zim was rushing home. Once he was home, he removed his disguise and sat on the couch. At that time, GIR popped up from behind the couch. "Someone sure needs a hug!" the robot shouted.

"No! No arms hugging bodies!" Zim shouted. At that time, the arms GIR had outstretched towards his master were now withdrawn.

"So, have you picked out the dress yet?" GIR said.

Zim had no idea what the robot was talking about. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Well, since you're going to be a pretty girl in the play, I thought you were wearing a dress~" GIR answered, his smile wide like it always was.

Zim stared at the robot for a moment. Could it get any worse?

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**I hope this chapter didn't fail your expectations. ._. If it did… -tear-**

**Anyways, I require some help from you fans of this story. I'm having trouble with the names of the kids in the class. I know some of them, like Zita, Melvin, the Letter 'M', and of course Old Kid, but I do need help… so, if one of you could help me with that, don't hesitate to message me! OuO;;**

**Anyways, bye humans~**

**-Tsuki-chan**


	5. Chapter 6

**So many reviews. o_o I like reviews. Seriously, thank you.**

**Meanwhile, I'm having fun deciding Zim's dress. |D Although, I can't decide on the color scheme, either a lovely shade of light pink and white, or baby blue and a cream-ish color. If you like either, tell me! It will help me decide. OuO**

**Finally, I still need someone to help me on the names of the kids. Once again, don't hesitate to message me if you want to help! .u.**

**(And yes, I know I've been calling the teens 'kids'. I know this takes place in high school; I just call some teens 'kids', even if I'm a teen myself. 8D)**

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****"Bear hence this body, and attend our will," the teen who was assigned the role of Prince was finishing reading. "Mercy but murders, pardoning those that kill."

Zim stared the next few words as the very loud narrator shouted, "EXIT!" Capulet's Orchard was the next scene. Zim hated this very scene. He hated it so much. He hated having to express feelings of 'love' for the Dib-beast, even if it was acting.

Zim would have thought more about how he hated the Earth-filth if that annoying narrator didn't shout, "SCENE II. CAPULET'S ORCHARD! ENTER ROMEO."

Zim cringed a bit. The kid was a terrible narrator. Dib then started to read off:

But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?  
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.  
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,  
Who is already sick and pale with grief,  
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:  
Be not her maid, since she is envious;  
Her vestal livery is but sick and green  
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.  
It is my lady, O, it is my love!  
O that she knew she were!  
She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that?  
Her eye discourses; I will answer it.  
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks:  
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,  
Having some business, do entreat her eyes  
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.  
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?  
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,  
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven  
Would through the airy region stream so bright  
That birds would sing and think it were not night.  
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!  
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,  
That I might touch that cheek!

Zim had to admit that the hyuu-man was good. "Ay, me," Zim said, reading off the page.

"She speaks!" Dib read next. "O, speak again, bright angel! For thou art as glorious to this night, being o'er my head As is a winged messenger of heaven unto the white-upturned wondering eyes of mortals that fall back to gaze on him when he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds and sails upon the bosom of the air."

"O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet."

Zim knew what was happening here. The pathetic Juliet character was talking about her love of the hyuu-man Romeo, and Romeo was eavesdropping. This is what the hyuu-mans consider love?

Before Dib could read his line, there was a person at the door. "I have a package for a Mr. Shounen Ai Yaoi," he said, indeed holding a package.

Mr. Yaoi squealed with excitement. "That's me~" he said, excitedly signing for the package, taking it, and skipping back to his desk (it was actually Mrs. Bitters', but since Mr. Yaoi was in charge of the play, he decided he was also in charge of the desk).

"What's in the package?" some kid asked.

"Special costumes for our play~" Mr. Yaoi responded.

Zim froze. He remembered GIR talking about a dress. Was that dress in that package?

The idea of wearing a dress really horrified Zim. Some people would say that his Invader uniform was a dress, but it wasn't! There were pants underneath the uniform. It wasn't a dress at all.

Mr. Yaoi then looked at the students. "Why have you stopped reading?" he almost snapped.

Dib then quickly resumed reading, "Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?"

"'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; Thou art thyself, though not a Montague," Zim read after the Dib. "What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet; so Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name, and for that name which is no part of thee take all myself."

Dib was about to read, but he noticed that almost everyone in the room was looking at either him or Zim. Mr. Yaoi had to replace the gauze around his nose again. Zim had his eyes glued to the cursed book, but once the Dib didn't read, Zim looked up, seeing how everyone was looking at him.

Ding! The bell rang. "Damn it all!" Mr. Yaoi shouted, appearing to be angry at the bell. He then noticed what he did, then quickly calmed himself, and then smiled. "Hope you had a great class. Bye~"

The kids left quickly after the purple filth's moment. Zim was glad to be out of there.

On the way home, Zim was starting to realize how much time they were spending on this pathetic play. He was actually starting to miss some of the other classes! Of course, he would never miss the subject of history (as if he cared to learn about these hyuu-mans' uninteresting past), but he missed one class. It was the one class actually had some tolerance for: chemistry. He was brilliant at science; why wouldn't he miss it?

This play had moved to the top of the school's priority list, and it got under Zim's green skin. He didn't understand why. The hyuu-mans were spending all their time on a play involving two love stricken hyuu-man worms that committed suicide because they couldn't be together. Without those other classes, wouldn't the hyuu-mans teenagers' grades slip or something?

As Zim walked into his home, GIR was eating what appeared to be a sandwich. Zim cringed when he saw bologna in the sandwich. He then remembered when Zim and Dib were transforming into giant bolognas. Zim looked closer at the sandwich, seeing ketchup on the sandwich.

"Disgusting," Zim muttered to himself as he sat down on the pink couch.

"Did you wear your dress today?" GIR asked cutely, ketchup in the corners of his mouth.

"No!" Zim shouted at the robot. "No dresses!"

"It'll probably be pink and pretty~" GIR sad in his normal crazy tone.

"I said no dresses, GIR!" Zim snapped in annoyance. "The fact that this play is the most important thing in the world to the school is annoying enough."

"I thought master would like it," GIR said bluntly. He then grew a wide smile. "You get to make out with Dib!"

Zim nearly choked on his own saliva at hearing GIR saying that. He would not, absolutely not enjoy kissing the Dib-pig! Definitely not! He'd rather eat more of the disgusting cheeseburgers than kiss the Dib-filth!

Zim wanted to feed the robot to one of the whales on this dirt-rock Earth.

Worst of all, his cheeks grew a deep green as he couldn't get the thought of him and the Dib-worm kissing out of his head.

* * *

**Don't worry; this update isn't an April's Fools Day joke. |D**

**I am enjoying writing ZaDR. I even wrote another ZaDR fanfic (and it's M-rated this time). I need some ideas for Pompous Pep fanfics though. (Pompous Pep is Danny/Vlad from DP. Just incase you did not know. 8D And if you don't care, I gave you random info~ eue)**

**Alright loves, I hope you enjoyed~ By the way, like Mr. Yaoi's first name? -u-  
**

**-Tsuki-chan**


	6. Chapter 7

… **Fifty. Reviews. –confetti explodes-**

**PURE AMAZEMENT! ;u; Thank you lovelies.**

**Alright… this may stun you people, but… (take this time to prepare yourself for what I'm about to type.)**

… **I've been thinking about drawing this story into a comic/doujinshi/whatever the fuck you want to call it. I've been drawing a lot (so much my shoulders have been hurting), and I think it will be fun. However, this is not definite, and if I do decide to do this, then it will be out probably sometime… probably near the end of summer.**

**Alright, now we'll read our story. I hope you beautiful people (by beautiful people, I mean the lovelies that got this story to fifty freakin' reviews) like it.**

* * *

"As rich shall Romeo's by his lady's lie," the kid was reading. "Poor sacrifices of our enmity!"

"A gloomy peace this morning with it brings," another read. Zim saw that the kid was Melvin, and he really hadn't noticed it. "The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head. Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things; some shall be pardon'd, and some punished, for there was never a story of more woe than Juliet and her Romeo."

Zim slightly jumped as that damned narrator kid shouted at the top of his lungs, "EXEUNT!" The word was 'exeunt', but the idiot teen said it like 'encint'.

Zim sighed. He flipped the page to see nothing but the back of the book. He knew that was there. He wasn't happy about the book being over though. Sure, he wanted to get this book done with because he hated reading the damned thing, but now they were moving on to the next part of Romeo and Juliet.

They were now to start acting.

Mr. Yaoi was crying into tissues as he was top of his desk in a ball, saying something like, "Such a sad ending, but what to be expected of a tragedy…" He had already used half the box, and he had just gotten it yesterday. Zim still hated the purple filth.

Zim felt his squedily-spooch doing flip-flops as he thought about the acting. Think about the acting was even more awkward since about a week in a half ago when GIR mentioned the romance. Zim, of course, did not want to 'make-out' with the Dib-pig. So why was it that whenever he thought about it, it didn't sicken him? It didn't make him claw his eyes out at all! It was probably more of that hyuu-man's mind control thing.

Mr. Yaoi finally stopped his pathetic tears. He was now standing as he said, "Well, kids, I think you did well with the reading, and after a few pieces of chalk, some erasers, and even a baseball, I got you to put more emotion into your voices." He smiled as he finished that sentence. The kids looked at Morla, who still had horrible bruise and stitches on her forehead from where the purple psycho had thrown a baseball (more of a softball, actually) to get her to use more emotion in her voice when reading.

"Anyways, after lunch, you will go to the auditorium so we can practice acting," Mr. Yaoi continued, ignoring the scared/angered/bored looks the kids were giving him. "Romeo, Juliet, be prepared~ I want to work on your scenes today." Blood started leaking from his nose, and he wiped it away.

The bell rang for lunch. Zim walked at a somewhat slow pace to the lunchroom. He doesn't eat the disgusting food, so why should he run to the lunchroom.

Something was wrong with Zim. His lovely Irken organs were still churning as he thought about the acting. He brought a black-gloved hand up to his forehead in a facepalm as he thought of the image of him and the Dib-filth kissing that GIR had practically painted in his head. He didn't feel sick; he just felt… weird.

"Zim," someone said from behind Zim. Zim knew that terrible voice and he turned around to face no one other than Dib; however, Zim noticed something different that he should have noticed before…

"Wait a second, why are you a different height!" Zim shouted at the Dib-pig. Zim noticed that now he and Dib were the same height. Was the Dib growing or was Zim shrinking? Hell, was it some sort of mixture of both?

Dib looked at Zim, one of his eyebrows raised. "You know, humans grow Zim," Dib said. "Just like you did."

"I know that, you pathetic worm baby!" Zim snapped at Dib. "Why are you the same height as me?"

"Humans can also grow taller than you," Dib said next, a smirk now placed on his face.

Zim growled at the Dib-creature. "What do you want? I've already had to put up with your pathetic mind control all this week…"

"Mind control?" Dib asked, confused as ever.

"Don't play dumb, Dib-stink," Zim nearly yelled at the Dib. "I know what you've been doing. You've been making my squedily-spooch doing cartwheels, you keep those images of us in my mind, all because of your mind control!"

Dib's eyes were wider, looking at Zim with cheeks stained pink. "Uh, Zim, humans don't have mind control," he pointed out to Zim.

Zim scoffed. "Yeah, right," he said, crossing his arms. "What else could it be?"

Dib opened his mouth to speak, but then he slowly closed it as his lips formed another smirk. "Never mind," he said as he started to walk away.

Zim looked at him oddly before saying, "Wait a minute, what did you want?"

"It wasn't important," Dib said as he continued walking.

Zim glared at the (somehow) no-longer huge headed Dib. He felt a darker shade of green flame across his cheeks. Did that hyuu-man do more mind control?

After the horrible lunch period was over, Zim trudged to the auditorium. It seemed like he was walking to hell. He knew what awaited him. The scenes Mr. Yaoi wanted to work on sounded terrible. Zim then remembered the hyuu-man love scenes. If he could, he'd run away. He couldn't, however. He shivered at the thought of being locked in the Underground Classroom with Ms. Bitters. He had to complete the mission of taking over this dirt-ball planet! Even if he had been on this mission for six Earth years, he was still determined to take over the planet for the Tallests! Even if the Tallests weren't answering his calls anymore, he had to do this, for he was an invader of the Irken Armada.

The bell rang as Zim opened the door to the auditorium. He noticed Mr. Yaoi with the books that were once on the students' desks. Zim also saw that most of the students were sitting in the theatre seats in the auditorium. They were scattered in groups: some in the front, some near the back. Zim took a seat in the very back of the auditorium, the very farthest away from the disgusting hyuu-mans.

"Alright, class!" Mr. Yaoi started. His voice was starting to remind Zim of nails screeching on a chalkboard. Both were very annoying and painful. "Today, we'll start acting! The play is on May 15th, so we should have plenty of time to work on the play." He then gave a toothy grin which made Zim's eye twitch in annoyance.

"Right now, though, I'd like to work on the first scene," Mr. Yaoi then continued. He motioned for all the students who were in the first scene to come forward. The kids did so, murmuring among themselves as the filthy purple excuse of a teacher started to gave the teens a copy of the book. Mr. Yaoi explained how stage directions worked and did a little speech on the importance of 'putting feeling into it'.

Zim watched as the hyuu-mans acted out the scene. It wasn't bad, actually. Still, the play was still the number #2 thing Zim hated the most, right behind the Dib-worm. His mind then drifted off to the Tallests and them not answering his calls. It's been a month since the Tallests stopped answering Zim's transmissions. Since then, he had left sixteen calls. They didn't even send him transmissions anymore! A horrible thought then entered Zim's mind: what if the Tallests were ignoring him? He shook the horrid thought out of his head.

After about fifty wretched minutes, Mr. Yaoi called out, "Zim, can you come up on the stage?" His sing-song voice made Zim's eye twitch again. Zim then got up from his comfortable seat in the very back of the auditorium and walked up to the stage. Mr. Yaoi gave Zim a book, and Zim glared at the book with pure hatred. Mr. Yaoi then told Zim, "_Capulet's party_ is the scene."

Zim knew this scene. Oh Irk. This was the scene that Zim had to kiss the Dib-creature. He felt his squedily-spooch do flip-flops again. He kept asking what that annoying feeling was!

After a few minutes of acting, it was only Zim and Dib on the stage now, reading off lines. This was where Romeo and Juliet first met and where they fall in love. Zim felt sick.

"If I profane with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this. My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss," Dib read off. He was close to Zim, which made Zim's face instantly turn a darker shade of green.

"Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss," Zim responded by reading off the next line.

"Have not saint's lips and holy palmers too?"

"Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer."

"O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair."

Dib's face was inches away from Zim's. Zim could see with his wonderful visions some of the students' reactions. Some were turning away, not wanting to see two males kiss. Some just watched and didn't care. Mr. Yaoi was dripping blood from his nose again.

"Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake," Zim said his line.

"Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take. Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged," Dib read off next.

Then, there was the stage direction _[Romeo kisses Juliet]. _Dib did as the stage directions ordered and then kissed Zim at that moment.

Zim felt his face burning with a dark green blush. He didn't know how to describe it. It wasn't actually… horrible. It was… nice.

The kiss was then broken. Zim looked at Dib, and stuttered out his line, "Th-then have my lips the sin that they have took."

Zim jumped a bit when the bell rang. He jumped again when Mr. Yaoi shouted, "FUCK! SO CLOSE! NOW WE HAVE TO WORK ON THESE DAMN COSTUMES AND SCENERY PIECES AND… SHIT!"

The students stared at Mr. Yaoi as he was now on the ground, shouting at the ceiling. Zim forgot what had happened before for a second. Then, he remembered and felt completely embarrassed.

As the students walked out of the auditorium and back to the classroom to work on the costumes and things, Dib walked beside Zim as Zim was being as slow as ever.

"Zim?" Dib started.

"What, Earth-filth?" Zim responded.

"You're in love with me now, aren't you?"

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**CLIFFHANGER! :D –shot forty-seven times- Oh, and I know Mr. Yaoi has some pretty bad language in this chapter. If it offends anyone, I guess I'll put a warning or some shit. (And I use bad language too. .-.;;)**

**Whew, long chapter is long. .-. I have updated; I now return to the GhiraLink and Johnlock fanfics I have been wanting to read.**

**DON'T FORGET TO QUOTE REGULAR SHOW! "FREE CAKE! FREE CAKE!" –shot another forty-seven times-**

**-Tsuki-chan**


	7. Chapter 8

Zim stared at the Dib-worm, mouth wide open at what he had just said. He couldn't believe he had asked such a stupid question!

"What?" Zim asked the Dib, trying to comprehend the subject.

"You're in love with me, aren't you?" Dib asked again.

Both were silent for a moment. Then Zim spoke, "What would ever make you think that, you filthy hyuu-man!?"

"Oh, come on Zim, think about it!" Dib started. "You suddenly blush when I'm around you, and you say that I apparently 'make your squiddily-spooch flop around'." Dib then crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at Zim. "That sounds like love to me."

"Stupid Dib-pig!" was the first thing Zim spat at Dib. "Only Irken defects love! Invaders need no one! Besides, why would I, the amazing ZIM, fall in love with an earth-monkey like you?"

"Well, you did, so why not answer that question?" Dib responded.

Oh, that horrible hyuu-man. Zim opened his mouth to say something in response, but nothing came out. He had no angry thing to shout at the awful Dib-thing. Instead, he just turned around on his heels and walked off the stage, away from the pathetic Dib-worm and walking towards the exit of the auditorium.

"Don't deny it, Zim!" Dib shouted as Zim left. Zim cringed, hating those words that he knew would stick with him. He told himself, 'There is nothing to deny!' in his mind, trying to assure himself that he wasn't in love with anyone, especially the Dib-thing.

* * *

As Zim walked into his home/secret base, he was instantly greeted by GIR, who was running in circles around the alien, wearing his green dog suit, and holding up a squirrel that looked like it needed a little more oxygen then it was getting.

"GIR!" Zim snapped at the robot. "What are you doing with that… that hideous creature!?" He pointed at the squirrel.

"Its name is Greg," GIR said softly (but still sounding crazy to Zim) as he pulled the squirrel in for a hug.

"… Greg?" Zim questioned.

GIR nodded. "Just like the TV Man!" it said next, now squeezing the squirrel with excitement. "Just like Greg! JUST LIKE GREG!"

Zim stared at the robot oddly for a brief moment before walking to the couch and sitting down. He had a lot on his mind, especially with Dib's accusation. As if Zim would fall in love with that Earth monkey! Dib must be going crazier than the disgusting school children said he already was.

Zim then realized something. When was the last time he worked on a plan to actually destroy this dirt ball that was somehow a planet?

Zim's hands came up to his head, clutching it as his eyes grew wide. This play was getting too distracting! He then stomped over to the trash can in his kitchen, opening it and jumping inside to head to his evil lair.

How could he let this happen? Taking over the Earth was the first priority, not this ridiculous play! As Zim arrived at his lair, he walked over to a giant computer screen. "Computer!" he shouted. "Send a transmission to the Tallests!"

The computer only bleeped in response. Then the computer screen went fuzzy. The transmission was being sent! Zim sighed as he waited for the Tallests to answer. He needed to ensure them that the mission was going just smoothly, that soon the filthy people of Earth would be begging for mercy from his terrible reign.

The screen remained fuzzy for a few more seconds before turning black. The transmission wasn't answered, yet again! Maybe the Tallests were out in a section of the universe where they couldn't answer transmissions? Was that even possible? Ah, the issue with these calls was becoming more and more frustrating. What if the drone who announced the transmissions to the Tallests was so jealous of Zim's progress that he refused to show them his transmissions? If that was the case, he would get his hands on that stupid drone one day.

Zim's thoughts stopped for a moment. Why did his eyes feel so scratchy? He then realized something major: he never took off his disguise. How could he forget that!? It was normally one of the first things he did when he arrived home! He sighed, trying to forget the frustration he had that was only growing more and more. He then removed the contacts and wig, revealing his red eyes and antennae. He couldn't forget this frustration.

Today was a terrible day. Well, all the days on Earth were horrible, but this one was especially. Dib says that Zim was feeling hyuu-man feelings, which of course were a lie. Why would Zim feel love… for a hyuu-man? The Dib-worm nonetheless.

Zim's frustration was now making him feel sad as opposed to the usual feeling of anger. Dib had said the more he talked about hating it, the slower it went by. Zim couldn't help it. With this play, Dib's love accusations, and his plans for conquering Earth being so delayed, he had to complain.

* * *

The next morning, Zim was at the Hi Skool, like he was supposed to be. He was walking to Ms. Bitters' classroom when he saw a note on the closed and locked door that prevented him from entering the classroom. The note read, "Go straight to the auditorium!" Zim felt his eye twitch. Of course it read to him, "Go straight to Hell."

As Zim trudged through the crowded hallway to the auditorium, he noticed the Dib-monkey at his own locker. Oh great. Of course, Zim walked on, hoping not to be noticed by the filthy hyuu-man. He knew he noticed, however, once he heard a locker slam and the slight squeak of the boots Dib wore as he walked.

"Already heading down to the stage, Zim?" Zim heard the Dib-worm's voice taunt him. "I thought you hated this play."

"I do, Dib-stink," Zim answered. "I just want to end this sooner by getting there quickly, starting quickly, and ending quickly. Once this filthy play is done, I will continue my plans to take over your filthy dirt rock of a planet."

"You know, none of your plans every work," Dib responded. "Don't you think that taking over the Earth just might not happen?"

Zim stopped walking and looked at the Dib-worm, who had stopped himself. "It will happen," he simply said then continued walking.

Dib followed and said sarcastically, "Yeah, sure." He then continued in his normal annoying tone of voice, "Are you sure you want to head the auditorium? You'll have to kiss me and act alongside me as my lover."

Zim felt his own face burn with blush. Zim looked at the smirking Dib-worm. "Hell no. I don't want to kiss you, I don't even want to appear to like you in any form, but thanks to this play, I must. Now if you could stop dragging out the torture with the hideous love accusations, that would be delightful, Earth-stink."

Both Zim and Dib continued their walk to the auditorium, almost there. At that moment, however, Zim was horridly beginning to wonder if he was lying to himself.

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**First person to bring up how long this took gets negative two points.**

**Also, I really need some new cover-art for this since the old one is like a year old (and looks horrendous). I'll try and get it done soon.**


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